the Best Man
by Brown Eyes Parker
Summary: She wasn't like other women. She could play the smiling best friend, pretending that she wasn't in love with him. Written for the 2012 Big Bang on Livejournal. Eventual Jisbon.
1. Wishing Only Wounds The Heart

**The Best Man**

**A Jane & Lisbon Story**

**By Brown Eyes Parker**

**Summary: **

**She wasn't like other women. She could play the smiling best friend, pretending that she wasn't in love with him.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own a thing, if I did I probably wouldn't be writing fan fiction.**

**Rating: K+**

**Author's Note:**

**I DID it! I wrote TWO Big Bangs, and I posted both of them to Livejournal! I thought it was impossible, but I proved myself wrong! I am a happy, happy girl. Without further ado, here's the story. Please, enjoy it.**

**.**

Wishing Only Wounds the Heart

The smell of French fries and bacon cheeseburgers did little to nothing to quell the nausea deep in the pit of her stomach. Patrick Jane, _her_ Patrick Jane was engaged to a woman who wasn't her. The moment she had heard the news, Teresa Lisbon had wanted to act like any other women in the same situation would and ask him what was wrong with her, why he hadn't chosen her.

But she wasn't any other women, and besides that she didn't really want to hear his answer, she didn't want to give her heart a chance to break any more than it already was. So, she took a small bite of her chocolate cheesecake, schooled her features into those of an ecstatic best friend and forced herself to say things she didn't really mean.

"I'm so happy for you," she said, looking straight at him and hoping he wouldn't be able to tell that she was lying through her teeth. "Really, I am."

"Thank you," Jane replied.

Lisbon swallowed hard and looked away from him then as she studied a fading print of the Beach Boys, willing herself not to cry, to not be one of those women. "When?"

"When, what?" Jane asked.

"When are you going to get married? When did you and Erin even become serious enough to consider getting married?"

"Erin wants to get married sometime in the summer," Jane replied. "And really, I don't know when we became serious enough to get married. We were making dinner last night and suddenly we were engaged."

"Do you love her?" the question slipped from her lips completely unbidden and unchecked.

"It isn't about love this time," he replied after a long second, easing her fears slightly and causing her to become irritated with him all at the same time.

"Oh," Lisbon replied, stopping herself from asking what it was about just in time.

"Listen, I want to ask you a favor," Jane said suddenly.

"What?"

"I know it's a bit unconventional," he started slowly. "Especially because you're a woman and all, but I want you to stand up with me when I get married."

"Like your best man?" Lisbon asked her heart and stomach giving a sharp twist.

"You're the best friend I have," Jane answered. "I couldn't see anybody but you standing up there with me, please say you'll do it. . . for me."

"I would do anything for you," Lisbon said tightly. "You know I would."

"Then you'll do it? You'll be my best man?"

She wanted to say no, wanted to tell him that she couldn't watch the man she was in love with marry someone else, but she saw the way that he was looking at her and she was powerless to say anything except for yes.

She wasn't like other women. She could play the smiling best friend, pretending that she wasn't in love with him and that her heart wasn't breaking as she watched him get his happily ever after with somebody who was whole and unscarred by life's daily tragedy. She could go through the motions without breathing a word of the love that had haunted her for years.

It was a small price to pay if Jane would finally be content and happy.

She nodded and forced a ghost of a smile. "If that's what you really want then I'll be your best man, Jane."

**.**

"And you said _yes_!?" Annie Lisbon asked her mouth dropping open slightly, her spoon hanging suspended in midair as she stared at her aunt incredulously. "Auntie Reese, whatever possessed you to say yes and why aren't you in a ball crying right now?"

"I said yes because he's my best friend," Lisbon answered. "And I'm not crying because I don't have the right to cry over losing somebody who never really belonged to me to begin with."

"That doesn't matter," Annie said. "You love him, don't you?"

"I just want him to be happy," Lisbon told her. "And if he's going to be happy with somebody else, then what I feel for him doesn't really matter."

"Why don't you tell him how you feel?" Annie asked suddenly. "He deserves to know the truth. And even if it isn't what he wants to hear, at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering _what if_."

"There isn't any more _what ifs_ left, Annie. Once Jane decides to do something, that's it, it's practically written in stone."

"That's not true!" Annie said instantly. "He didn't kill Red John like he said he was going to. Who's to say this time isn't any different?"

Lisbon sighed. "Annie, you're still young. You want a happily ever after, but sometimes you don't get happily ever. Sometimes the best friend marries somebody else, and sometimes the girl doesn't get the boy. That's just the way real life goes."

"So, you're just going to let the man you're in love with get away without a fight?"

"I'm just going to give him up," Lisbon confirmed.

"You're a smart and strong woman, and I admire you for that Auntie Reese," Annie said. "But when it comes to matters of the heart, you're pretty stupid—"

"That's _enough_," Lisbon replied stiffly.

Annie paused a moment and then she gently touched her aunt's shoulder. "Even though you're letting him go, you don't have to pretend to be happy about it. What good is it going to do? Jane's going to see right through you anyways. You know that he always does."

"Who knows? Maybe he won't be paying attention this time," Lisbon said.

As soon as she said it, she knew it was just wishful thinking on her part. Jane _would_ be able to tell that she was faking happiness for him. It was just a question of whether or not he cared about how she really felt about his impending nuptials.

Annie glanced at her phone and sighed. "I have to go now, or I'll miss my bus. And dad won't be too happy if I'm late coming home. If you need me, I'll just be a phone call away."

"I know," Lisbon replied, smiling at her niece's support and pulling her into a hug. "Thank you. I love you."

"Love you too," she answered as she gave Lisbon a quick peck on the cheek. "Remember; don't hesitate to call if you need _anything_."

Then she was gone and Lisbon was left with an aching heart and a counter full of dirty dishes as her only company.

**TBC. . . **

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**You know the drill, if you like it click any of the buttons below. They're all magical. But I would really like to hear your thoughts on this story. This was such a hard thing to write. (And my horoscope said that a project I've been working on since the New Year would have a big payoff. . . this is the big project I've been working on, let's see if these people actually know what they're talking about.)**

**Until next time!**

**Love,**

**Holly**


	2. And There In The Bathroom

**Disclaimer: The things I own do **_**not**_** include the rights to the Mentalist. **

**Author's Note I:**

**I was SO blown away by the reception of this story. I feel like I got my groove back a little bit. LOL. Anyways, one my New Year's resolutions is to answer every review I get on my stories. But due to the amount of reviews I received, I can't even give shout-outs. So, I have to give a blanket thank you. All the feedback meant a lot to me.**

**.**

And there in the bathroom I tried not to fall apart

"How are you holding up?"

Even though she'd been expecting the question ever since Virgil Minelli had issued the invitation to have lunch, she still wasn't fully prepared to answer him. Next to Jane, he was the last person that she wanted to know how she was truly feeling.

"I've been doing well—" Lisbon started, feigning ignorance about what his question really meant.

"Come now Teresa," Minelli chided gently. "Don't play dumb with me; you know that I wasn't asking about how you're _health_. Now tell me, how are you holding up?"

Lisbon sighed and pushed her glass of lemonade away as she avoided his careful gaze. "Why do you want to know?"

"I've always thought there was more than friendship between the two of you—"

"You were just reading into things then," Lisbon told him. "We were never anything more than just friends."

"_Just friends!? _Just friends with a man you've put your job and your life on the line for?" Minelli scoffed.

"I would have done the same thing for Cho and Rigsby—" she started.

"Bull!" He interjected. "Just try and convince me that you'd do half the things for them that you did for Jane."

Lisbon set her jaw, ready to refute his point, but as soon as she opened her mouth all her arguments were gone.

"Virgil, if there was something more than friendship between Jane and me then he'd be engaged to _me _right now. Not Erin," she replied, willing herself to believe the words that were spilling out of her mouth.

Minelli bit his tongue, refraining from telling her that there were probably a lot of reasons that Jane had decided to marry somebody else instead of her. He knew it wouldn't be something that she wanted or even _needed_ to hear.

Instead he took her hand in his and forced her to look at him, his gaze unblinking. "If you really love him then you _need_ to let him know, Teresa. It won't be the easiest thing to let him know how you feel, but getting it out in the open will be better than living the rest of your life with the regret if you don't say anything."

"I can't tell him! It wouldn't be right. . . " Lisbon answered. "You see, I'm— he asked me to be his best man! So, you see? _If_ I did have feelings for him, I couldn't tell him how I felt in good conscience. I wouldn't feel right— I'm sorry, I—" she got up from the table abruptly. "Excuse me."

May frowned slightly as she watched Lisbon disappear down the hall and into the bathroom. "You upset her, Virgil! I told you not to—"

Minelli patted her on the hand and then pushed away from the table. "Don't you worry your pretty little head May. I'm sure that she'll be fine."

**.**

He found her sitting on the edge of the bathtub with her face buried in her hands. She looked so much like a broken-hearted teenager that his fatherly instincts towards her were doubled. He knelt down in front of her and gently touched her knee.

"Teresa?"

"I'm okay," she said, looking at him, her green eyes completely dry.

"You know you don't have to be strong all of the time," Minelli told her. "Sometimes it's fine if you cry."

"I—"

"It's _fine_," Minelli repeated, pulling her into his arms and holding onto her tightly. "It's just the two of us, so if you have to cry then cry. I promise, I won't tell anybody if you do."

Lisbon cleared her throat, fighting back the tears that were begging to prick the corners of her eyes because of her former mentor's words. After a moment, she choked on an unwanted sob and for the first time since she had found out about Jane's engagement, she started to cry.

Minelli didn't say anything; he just let her cry on his shoulder as he rubbed her back gently.

She looked at him after a moment, trying to catch her breath. "Do you want the truth?"

"Teresa, you don't have to—"

"No, no. . . I do," she replied, sniffing slightly as she dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. "The truth is I've loved him for years now. The truth is I allowed myself to imagine that Jane and I had a future _together_ after Red John was finally out of the picture. I put up with all of the different women that came in and out of his life, because I was so certain that he would always come back to me. I just took it for granted that he'd never actually ask one of the other women to stay."

Minelli grabbed a tissue from a box on the window sill and wiped away the tears and traces of mascara from her cheeks. "I can't speak for Jane, but I know what I saw when I was working with the two of you. I would swear in a court of law that he's in love with you too."

Lisbon sighed. "You—"

"Don't even try and tell me that I'm wrong," he interrupted. "I'm not blind Teresa; I can tell when two people love each other. Now, I don't know why he isn't with you right now. But I am one hundred percent certain that it doesn't have anything to do with his _not_ loving you."

"I still can't help but thinking if that were true, we'd be together right now."

"Maybe you should talk to him then," Minelli said, putting his hand in her's. "See what's going on in his head. You were always good at that."

"I can't. Here's some more truth for you Virgil. I'm afraid of what he'll say if I bare my heart to him. I'm trying to be strong, trying to be happy for his sake. I've already been rejected to a degree, I don't want to lose him completely," Lisbon replied as she began to cry again. "He means so much to me that I would be willing to spend the rest of my life just being his friend. Because having him there would be better than nothing."

"Is everything okay in here? You two have been gone an awfully long time. Lunch is starting to get cold—" May stopped short and looked at Lisbon with the kind of empathy only another woman could have.

"I'm sorry," Lisbon said, turning away from the older woman, so she wouldn't see her tear-filled eyes.

"It's okay," May assured her gently as she joined them in the bathroom and knelt down in front of her, gently swiping at her cheeks with her thumbs. "Crying's a good thing. So, you just cry."

And there in the bathroom, with two people who cared about her, she completely fell apart.

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**The next chapter is already written and you're going to have to deal with it whether you review or not, because I'm not a review Nazi. But if you WANT to review, feel free to do so. Because I still want to hear your thoughts and feelings about this story.**

**Love,**

**Holly, 3/27/2013_ **


	3. Trying Not To Love You Only Goes So Far

**Author's Note:**

**I'm still blown away by the response to this story. I did take the time to respond to people's reviews today. Let me tell you, it wasn't an easy feat. It almost drove me crazy, but it was way better than a blanket thank you.**

**Annaflower: You are right, there **_**is**_** something else. This is Patrick Jane that we're talking about. He isn't blind, in fact, he probably knows Lisbon better than she knows herself.**

**Guest: I'm glad this is your new favorite story. I feel honored. Is this soon enough for an update?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own one thing. Not one thing. I'm sorry to disappoint you guys.**

**.**

**Trying not love you only goes so far, trying not to need you is tearing me apart**

She was trying so hard to conceal it from him, but despite her best attempts, he could still see straight through her carefully placed mask and right into her aching heart.

And he hated himself.

He knew without even asking that _he_ was the reason she was suffering with a broken heart. He had known the whole time that she had imagined a life with him after Red John. In his most secret daydreams, he'd allowed himself to imagine a future with her.

But when the end had finally come, he realized just how strong his feelings for his petite boss really were, he remembered what had happened the _last _time he'd allowed himself to love somebody so passionately. He'd gotten scared then and pushed her away without taking time to even think about how _she_ would feel.

A little while later, he met Erin Booth working on a case. She was tall, blonde, and confident. And she had completely given up on finding true love. By the time he had closed the case and Lisbon had filed the paperwork for it, he and Erin had started to see each other almost every night.

She was looking for the same things from a relationship that he was: companionship without the sticky mess that was love and passion.

He figured that since he'd spent the better of ten years fighting his feelings for Teresa Lisbon, he could try and fight them forever. Even if he did have to live with the knowledge that he'd broken her heart for the rest of his life, it would be better than losing her and not being able to handle it—

A cheerful voice pulled him out of his troubled thoughts. "Hey Patrick!"

He looked up and saw Erin standing by his couch, smiling down at him as she fidgeted with the strap of her designer purse.

Jane got to his feet and welcomed her with a friendly hug. "Hey Er'. What are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you until tonight."

Erin laughed. "I'm not here to see _you_, silly."

He frowned. "You aren't?"

"Nope," she replied. "I just came to pick up your boss."

Jane looked a little confused. "And _why _exactly are you picking her up?"

"Reese agreed to go dress shopping with me since all my family and friends are too far away to help out with things like that," Erin answered, giving him a slightly exasperated look. "And she's the one who _really_ knows your tastes, I want to make sure I find something you'll love."

"But-but she's _my_ best man!" Jane protested.

"So? Don't be so selfish," Erin replied, swinging at him playfully. "You can share her with me, can't you Paddy?"

"Of course he can," Lisbon replied, coming out of her office and pulling her blazer on. "Besides, it isn't like I'm bogged down with best man duties at the moment. All I need to do is plan the bachelor party and help book the honeymoon."

Jane was about to protest, but he thought better of it when he saw the way both his girls were looking at him. He sighed, "Fine. If it'll make you really happy, Lisbon can go and help you choose your wedding dress."

Erin smiled at Lisbon triumphantly. "Thank you!"

"No problem," he answered as he glanced over at Lisbon. "Thank you for agreeing to help her, I'm sure you have better things to do with your time—"

"It really isn't any bother," Lisbon replied, not looking directly at him. "I would do anything for you. Come on Erin, let's go."

Erin waved. "See you later, Patrick."

"Enjoy yourself," Jane replied, trying hard not to look at Lisbon as she waited for Erin by the elevators.

**.**

Lisbon did her best to ignore Erin's cheerful chattering about the virtues of Pnina Tornai versus Vera Wang as she tried on dress after dress in white with sparkling bodices and frothy, billowing skirts. Each one of them were beautiful gowns that were worthy of a princess with a price tag to match.

As the appointment wound down, Erin sighed and twirled around to face Lisbon.

"I don't think I'm a ball gown kind of girl," she said, sighing. "I'll just have to set up another appointment and come back later. In the meantime, how about I treat you to lunch before you have to go back to work?"

"Sure," Lisbon agreed reluctantly. "But it'll have to be something quick. My lunch hour is almost over."

Erin smiled. "I know the perfect place. I'm just going to get changed and then we can get out of here."

"Okay," Lisbon said as Erin's consultant helped her down off the podium.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm glad you and Patrick are friends," Erin said as they drove back to the CBI while they ate roast beef sandwiches and drank diet Coke. "And I don't want think that the dynamic of your friendship is going to change just because he's going to marry me. In fact, I'm hoping that one day that you and I can be just as good of friends."

Instead of saying these things alive, she bit into her pickle and chewed it vigorously, trying to buy herself some time before coming up with a reply that was less than bitter. When she had swallowed, she forced herself to smile and nod. "I— we could try."

If Erin was disappointed by this answer, she didn't let it show. She just smiled and asked if Lisbon wanted to trade a honey barbecue potato chip for a salt & vinegar one.

**.**

"Hey Lisbon," Jane said as she stepped off the elevator. "You're back a little later than usual."

"I'm only two minutes late," Lisbon retorted. "Erin stopped to buy lunch after her appointment was over. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have had a chance to eat lunch today."

"I'm glad she was thinking about that," Jane replied as he followed her to her office. "So?"

"So, _what_?" Lisbon asked, draping her jacket over her chair and sitting down.

"Did you have a good time?"

"It was fine," she said, shrugging slightly as she grabbed a file from the stack by her keyboard. "She's going to make you a perfectly lovely bride, Jane. She's pretty, and smart, and she has a great taste in cars and fashion."

Jane looked slightly startled. "What does that even mean?"

"I'm just giving her the best friend seal of approval," Lisbon said, not meeting his gaze. "I kind of thought it was something every man wants from his best friend."

"Oh. Do men ever really listen to what their best friends think about their fiancées?"

"I don't know. This is the first time I've ever been in a situation like this," Lisbon answered.

"Well, thank you for going with her today. It means a lot, especially since everybody she's close to can't be here right now."

"It really wasn't a problem," Lisbon fibbed, her heart giving a desperate knife. "Like I said earlier, I'd do anything for you. I just want you to be happy, Jane."

"I-I _am_ happy," he replied, hating how foreign the lie sounded as it fell from his mouth.

"Good. I'm glad," she said, her hair falling over her face as she pretended to concentrate on the paperwork in front of her.

"Lisbon—"

"Yeah Jane?"

He sighed as the little spark of courage that he had felt quickly disappeared, his confession dying with it. "Nothing. I'll just see you later."

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**Anywho, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I hope it answers any questions you have about Jane and other stuff. And you don't have to ask for another chapter, because I'm going to update tomorrow (regardless of the reviews).**

**Love,**

**Holly, 3/28/2013_**


	4. The Winner Takes It All

**Disclaimer: Did you really think anything would change in the past 24 hours? Yes? Sorry to break it to you, I still don't own anything.**

**Author's Note: **

**Another blanket "thank you" is in order here, mostly because today I didn't get an opportunity to sit down and thank everybody individually for the reviews they sent me. I am still SO overwhelmed by the amount of reviews that I'm getting.**

**.**

**The winner takes it all, the loser standing small beside the victory, that****'****s her destiny**

Lisbon sighed and closed her eyes, holding her breath as she completely sank underneath the sudsy water and tried to purge the images of his face from her head. Trying to eliminate the tender way that he had spoken her name from her mind.

For a moment, she wondered if she had imagined the whole thing. Maybe she was just a victim of wishful thinking, and she had merely wanted Jane to look at her with longing. Maybe she had only wanted a sign to let her know that she hadn't just _imagined _the chemistry they had shared over the past ten years.

She surfaced after she couldn't hold her breath a second later and rested her chin on the edge of the bathtub. The water grew cold as she sat in silence, wishing that she had never allowed Jane to escape her office so easily.

She didn't really _want_ to know what he was going to say, but knowing would have been better than wondering. The wondering left her with a half-a-dozen possibilities, each one a little favorable than the first one.

She was jerked out of her thoughts by the ringing of her telephone, she reluctantly drained the water and grabbed her robe before dashing into her bedroom and picking up her phone before her machine got it.

"Hello?

"Hey, it's Erin."

"Oh. . ." Lisbon trailed off and sat down on the edge of her bed, flicking away a droplet of water from the end of her hair. "Hi Erin. Is everything okay? Jane's not hurt—"

Erin laughed. "Everything's fine. I was just calling to let you know that I set up an appointment to look at bride's maid dresses this weekend. I hope you don't have any plans, because my maid of honor is coming in on Friday, and it's the only weekend she'll be available until the weekend—"

"Wait," Lisbon interrupted. "You want me to come and look at dresses with your maid of honor?"

Erin laughed again. "_Of course_ I want you to come and try on dresses with Jennh! You have to be just as comfortable with the dress selection as _she_ is. Did you actually think you'd have to wear a tuxedo just because you were the best man?"

Lisbon hesitated, thankful that the other woman wasn't able to see her blushing. "Well—"

"Patrick mentioned that it might be difficult to find a tuxedo for somebody your size. But I told him that there was no way on _earth _that I'd allow you to wear _pants_ at the wedding. I mean he's already breaking tradition by having a female best man—"

"Thank you," Lisbon interjected, curling a wet strand of hair around her finger. "I can't believe I'm actually telling you this, but I really didn't want to wear a tuxedo. I would have—"

"I completely understand!" Erin said cheerfully. "The color scheme is silver, so I just wanted you to know that you won't have to wear anything pink. . . or frilly. Patrick told me about your bad experience with the bridesmaid dress a few years ago."

Lisbon got to her feet and tucked the phone under her ear as she went over to her bureau. "Really?"

"Yeah," Erin answered. "He talks about you a lot actually."

"And that doesn't bother you at all?" Lisbon asked, frowning slightly as she pulled open her underwear drawer.

"No, of course not! It's actually kind of cute! Like I told you earlier, I'm glad that you're his friend."

"Listen Erin, I'm going to have to go. I just got out of the tub, and I'm soaked."

"Oh! Oh, I am _so _sorry for keeping you this long!" Erin said quickly. "I really only called to see if Saturday was okay for you."

"Yeah," Lisbon replied as she pulled on her panties. "As far as I know, I don't have any plans for Saturday."

"Good! Be ready early then because I'm making reservations at Grange for brunch. And I'm not going to take _no_ for an answer! Goodbye Teresa!"

Before Lisbon could reply, there was a click signaling the end of their conversation. She tossed her phone on her bed and tried really hard to dislike Erin as she got into her pajamas.

But Erin was proving hard _not_ to like. She was sweet, charming, thoughtful, incredibly beautiful, and her present wasn't damaged by demons from her past.

Erin could. . . _would_ balance Jane out in ways that she would have never been able to.

A tear slid down her cheek, Lisbon wiped it away impatiently and told herself that she wasn't going to have another emotional breakdown. Once was enough.

She had already decided to be a gracious loser weeks ago; it was time to actually start playing the role. She took a couple deep breaths, looked in the mirror, and forced herself to smile. And then she did it a dozen more times, she did it until _she_ believed she was truly happy for him. She faked smiles until she was certain that everybody else around her would be convinced that she wasn't _just_ masking her true feelings behind a pretty, wide-mouthed grin for Jane's sake.

For a second, Minelli's edict from the week before skirted across her mind completely unbidden. Reminding her that there was an easy way out of the make-believe.

_I__f you love him, you should tell him. . ._

She shook the words out of her head and turned away from the mirror, the rest of the sentence following on the heels of its partner.

_You might regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. . ._

"No," Lisbon said aloud as she went to the bathroom and picked up her toothbrush. "The only thing that I _will_ regret for the rest of my life is actually _telling_ him how I feel."

With that reply, Minelli's voice stopped nagging her and she started her nightly ritual in relative peace while she continued to force smiles and started to practice fake best man speeches in her head.

**.**

After tossing and turning for most of the night, Lisbon got up with the sunrise and went to work early. Jane was there, making tea in the break room.

"I thought you'd be here early," he said without looking at her. "So, I already made your coffee."

"Thanks," she replied, getting a mug and going over to the coffee pots.

"No problem," he answered, meeting her eyes and smiling at her for the briefest moment.

She watched him as she stirred in sugar and a splash of cream to her drink. He was staring into space and sipping tea, completely lost in thought. What had happened in her office the day before came rushing back and for a second, she lost all her resolve from the night before. Questions about it were right on the tip of her tongue, but before she could actually form the words to ask him, Jane opened his mouth and brought her crashing back to reality.

"Did Erin call you last night?"

"Yes," Lisbon replied as she swallowed her coffee.

"I did tell her not to call you at home—"

"It was fine!" She interjected quickly. "Really, I didn't mind."

He searched her eyes trying to discern if she were telling the truth or not.

Lisbon held her breath and reminded herself to smile. . . to be the ecstatic best friend. After a moment, he looked away and she escaped to her office, praying that he hadn't seen through her mask.

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**So, yeah. . . this chapter probably marks the beginning of Jane and Lisbon seriously dancing around the feelings between them. And it only gets worst, kind of. Tell me what you're thinking; I'm even used to the negative reviews now. So, say ANYTHING. I'll have another update tomorrow, but NOT Sunday because I'll be in church during the time I usually update. **

**Until tomorrow! **

**Love,**

**Holly, 3/29/2013_**


	5. How Can I Learn To Love Someone New

**Author's Note: **

**Again, thank you for ALL the reviews you guys sent me. I'm so happy that people are still enjoying this story to fill my inbox with their thoughts. I hope you don't hate me too much after the events of this chapter. It's kind of angsty. Oh! And I should start telling you where I got the title chapters. Today's title is brought to you by the incredible Regina Spektor and her song, "How". Now, onto the story.**

**Oh, and one more QUICK thing. People have been asking about Erin not noticing Jane/Lisbon. She didn't at first, but she starts to. She's a nice girl. I promise.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I still don't own anything. **

**.**

**How can I learn to love someone new, someone who isn****'****t you**

_Two Months Later_

Lisbon was in the middle of finishing a crossword puzzle and her second cup of coffee when her cell phone rang.

She picked it up without bothering to check the ID. "Hello?"

"Teresa, _thank goodness_ I got a hold of you!"

"Erin?" Lisbon asked, frowning slightly. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, everything's fine. . ." Erin trailed off. "Except for one thing, I got a call and I need to go into work today. A case just came in with seven kids; all of them abused, the baby a crack addict—"

"I understand," Lisbon interjected, capping her pen and putting it down. "But I don't understand, why are you calling me?"

"Because Patrick and I were supposed to look at hotel ballroom this morning in Napa and the situation at work throws a wrench in our plans. But I don't want to cancel the appointment, because it's murder to reschedule. So, I was wondering if—"

"Sure," Lisbon answered, without thinking.

"Thank you!" Erin squealed. "You are a LIFESAVER! I'll just call Patrick and tell him to come and get you. And I'll see you later; I'm hoping that I'll be able to meet up with you guys this afternoon sometime."

"Okay," Lisbon agreed, getting up and dumping the rest of her coffee out into the sink before starting for her bedroom to get ready for her day.

"Well, I have to go now. Thank you again! I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you for everything that you've been doing for us."

"I'm happy to help," Lisbon said sincerely. "See you later, Erin."

"Okay. 'Bye, Teresa."

Twenty minutes later, Lisbon was dressed and sitting in the front seat of Jane's Citron.

"I'm glad you agreed to come and help out," Jane said, taping his fingers on his steering wheel.

"What are best men for?" Lisbon replied, smiling slightly as she took in the sight of him tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, perfectly in-sync with the classical piece of music that was playing on the radio.

"Indeed," Jane answered, jerking her attention back to his face. "You are the best man among best men, Lisbon."

She laughed. "Thank you, I guess."

And for a second, it was easy to forget that Jane was engaged to somebody else. For a moment, she was able to pretend that it was still just the two of them again without Erin even being a thought in either of their minds. For a second, she allowed herself to entertain a couple of the hopes and dreams that had died just a little bit the afternoon that he had announced his engagement.

"I'm Michael Drake, the hotel manager" a portly, balding man said as he led them through a spacious lobby and towards a vacant ballroom. "Usually, we'd have you meet with our event planner but since you're still shopping around, I'll be in charge of your tour this morning."

"Thank you," Jane replied winking at Lisbon as Michael stopped in front of a ballroom that was buzzing with activity.

"This," the older man said, sweeping his hand in the air, "is one of our most popular ballrooms. Since it is in high demand, I don't know if you two would be able to get it in time for your wedding though. When did you say your date was?"

"Oh, we're not together!" Lisbon answered quickly.

"Really?" Michael asked frowning slightly. "Are you sure you two aren't getting married. In all my years of managing this hotel, I've never seen two people who complement each other more than you two do."

"Nope," Lisbon answered, shaking her head forcefully. "I'm just the best man. . . woman, er, person. I'm standing up with him on his wedding day."

The hotel manager looked at a loss for words and then he shrugged as if to say _to each their own_ as he cleared his throat almost awkwardly. "Well, Mr. Jane, I'll just leave you and you're, um, you're best man to discuss things then. I'll be back in about ten minutes to check on you."

"It's a nice space; I really think that Erin is going to love it—" Lisbon said, gasping as Jane gathered her up in his arms and started to dance around the room with her. _"Jane!"_

"What?" He asked innocently as they moved slowly with the faint sound of a pop song from the ballroom across the hall. "I don't see the sense in wasting perfectly good music and a perfectly good dance floor. We can dance and talk at the same time. So, do you really think that Erin will _love _this place? "

All Lisbon could do was nod, the close proximity to Jane had made her lose all ability to speak or even breathe. Everything in her was saying to push him away and flee from the scene, but she couldn't seem to lift her hands to push him away. She was too caught up in the sharp, citrus scent of his cologne, in the sound of his heartbeat, and the warmth of his arms, seeping into her back. His nearness had turned her into a dizzy, thoughtless mess.

She couldn't help but wonder if he was reacting the same way, or if this was just another meaningless moment they would share.

**.**

Jane was absorbed with the woman in his arms. He couldn't get enough of her spicy perfume, the way she was breathing gently in his ear or the warmth from her hands on his neck. Erin wasn't even a thought as the words from the song filled his mind.

It was as if the song writer had seen him and Lisbon together one day, and then had put everything he had observed to music. For a moment, he wished he knew all the words, so he could whisper them to Lisbon and let her know what he was feeling . . . what he had _always_ felt for her.

He closed his eyes and wondered which one of them was trembling.

As the song ended, Lisbon realized what she was doing. . . what _they _were doing. She pushed him away and tried to compose herself, only to find Erin looking at them with partial amusement.

"Erin!" She gasped feeling like the kid who'd gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Teresa," Erin replied, her mouth quirking into a little smile. "I bet you're surprised to see me."

"Just slightly," Lisbon managed, looking at Jane awkwardly.

"Yeah, my boss temporarily took over my case so I could dash out here and take a look around," Erin said as she came into the room and putting her arms around both Jane and Lisbon. "It's a pretty space, and the ballroom floor looks spectacular, there's plenty of space to dance the night away."

"Yeah," Lisbon agreed hollowly.

"Do you _really_ like it?" Jane asked, doing his best to keep the tremor out of his voice.

"Well, I kind of have to. The wedding is in two months," Erin answered. "We're already way too far behind in booking a ceremony space. I should have done it when we got engaged. . ."

Lisbon fidgeted with her cross necklace, tuning Erin's wedding chatter out as she wondered if the pretty social worker had caught her and Jane in their less than innocent slow dance. She wondered if maybe she thought it didn't mean anything to them or if she was jealous and would try to break up their friendship after all.

But Erin looked and sounded totally oblivious to anything that didn't include wedding details.

As she exhaled heavily, Lisbon didn't realize that she had been holding her breath.

"Everything okay Teresa?" Erin asked, stopping her spiel about centerpieces and giving her a concerned look.

"Fine," Lisbon answered, dropping her necklace and clearing her throat. "Now that you're here Erin, there's no need for me to stick around. I'm just going to call a cab and go home."

Erin frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to stick around for lunch?"

"Yeah. I just remembered, I need to vacuum my living room—"

"You don't have to call a cab," Jane interjected, pulling his keys from his vest pocket. "You can take my car."

"I can't—"

"Really, I insist! You really don't have any need to pay for a cab when there's a perfectly free way to get home." Jane said, his eyes pleading with her not to argue with him. "Or you don't have to go at all."

"I do," Lisbon answered, suddenly feeling like a third wheel. "I'll see you two later. Enjoy yourselves."

"Lisbon!" Jane called as she started to leave.

She turned to look at him. "Yes?"

He tossed her the keys. "You forgot these."

"Right," Lisbon said, avoiding his eyes. "Thanks."

**.**

She didn't realize she was shaking until she climbed into the driver's seat and tried to put the key in the ignition. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her hands again. But it was no use; the dance she had shared with Jane had really rattled her.

Her mask was gone and she knew that she'd have to try even harder than before to pretend she wasn't in love with Jane.

It just wasn't going to be as easy as it was before.

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**If you think you hate me now, just wait until Monday. Chapter 6 is going to be a DOOZEY! And I have two chapter 6's (one is an alternate POV that I just couldn't use because it didn't fit the flow of the story). Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts and your hate on me for this particular chapter. I'm preparing myself accordingly. **

**And to ALL my fans, no matter your religion, I want to wish you guys a Happy Easter. **

**All my love,**

**Holly, 3/30/2013_**


	6. How I Wish You Would Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

**No April Fools jokes for you guys today. I hope you're having a perfect first day of April though. I know I am. My peach iced tea is sweeter, the weather is fabulous, and Nina Simone's version of "It Might As Well Be Spring" is on repeat. The only downer is my baby sister isn't doing so well. We're taking shifts and sitting with her in the living room. I watched about five hours of Full House and TLC shows this morning. Then a bunch of Disney shows tonight. Anything for my baby though.**

**Anyways, like I said last time. This one is a BIG chapter. Something huge happens in it. Oh, and thank you for all the reviews. You guys are still blowing my mind. And before I forget, the song that was used for this chapter was "Symphony" by the amazing Sarah Brightman.**

**Disclaimer: It wasn't in my Easter basket, so it's safe to say that I still don't own it. I do have several bags of the red Starburst jelly beans. And that makes it all better.**

**.**

**How I wish you would hold me and that you never told me that it****'****s better if you leave**

When Lisbon wasn't working, her life had started to revolve around dress fittings, _Modern Bride _magazines, wedding playlists, cake tastings and bedazzling nude-colored Louis Vuitton stilettos with Schertzy crystals.

In the midst of playing the role of Erin's proxy maid of honor, she was still Jane's supportive best man. She helped him find the perfect honeymoon spot, went shopping with him to pick out a new tie and suit for the day of the wedding. Some days, she even played the part of the bride because Erin was too busy with work to make it too a meeting.

Nobody – not even the all-knowing Jane – suspected she was dealing with a broken heart.

This was fine with her. She had already had enough of her co-workers sympathetic looks and whispers when they had all thought she was in love with a man who probably wouldn't survive the revenge he was so hell-bent on getting. She didn't think she would be able to bear anymore office gossip that involved her and Jane.

**.**

"I want him to have the _full_ bachelor party experience," Erin told Lisbon as they walked around a general store and looked at penny candy.

"The _full_ bachelor party experience?" Lisbon asked as she unwrapped a strawberry Dum-Dum and put it in her mouth.

"Well, I guess he won't be having the full experience," Erin said. "Especially since _you_ planned it."

Lisbon's frown was playful as she nudged the blonde woman. "And what is _that _supposed to mean?"

Erin smiled and grabbed a handful of Hershey kisses. "You're a woman. And I guess it would be awkward for you to hire a stripper—"

"I can't even believe we're going to have this conversation," Lisbon said, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink.

"Did you even think about it?"

"Not once," Lisbon replied. "I planned it with you in mind. I didn't think that you'd appreciate it if there were strippers—"

"Do you really think he loves me, Teresa?" Erin asked suddenly.

Lisbon's pulse stopped for a moment and pulled her lollipop out of her mouth. "Why are you asking me something like _that_?"

"I'm just curious to know what you think when you look at the two of us together," Erin said, waving her off as she pulled some loose change out of her wallet and paid for their candy. "Do you see two people in love or. . . something else?"

"I-I—" Lisbon faltered and shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Erin. I've been so busy helping you two with wedding plans that I haven't really noticed. Why are you even asking something like that? You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"I don't know," Erin said.

"Erin, it would devastate him if you broke things off now—"

Erin smiled at her almost slyly. "Oh, I don't think he would take it too hard if I decided to end things between us."

"I don't know what you're thinking in that pretty little head of yours, Erin but you'd probably be better off _not_ thinking it."

Erin looked like she wanted to say something else, but she didn't. Instead she took Lisbon by the arm. "Come on now; let's get you back to work before you're late."

**.**

Lisbon couldn't get Erin's question out of her head as she tried to finish out the work day. No matter how hard she tried to shake it, it grew until it was louder than all her other thoughts, driving her to distraction. For once, the end of her work day couldn't come soon enough.

Even though the end of this particular work day meant that she would have to go and celebrate Jane's impending marriage, playing the part of the excited best friend to its fullest.

But maybe with a little help from alcohol, dim lighting, and a jukebox loudly playing music, all her pretenses could drop. Maybe he wouldn't be able to see her fully through cigar smoke and a bar full of weary souls, trying to numb their pain with hard liquor and nameless strangers.

"Ready to go, Boss? The bachelor party can't start without the best man, you know."

Lisbon shook her head to clear her mind and looked at Cho. "Sure. Are you ready?"

"Been ready for a while now," Cho answered. "We've just been waiting on you. Work giving you a hard time?"

"Lots of paperwork," Lisbon lied, deliberately not looking at the stack of unfinished files at her elbow.

Cho raised an eyebrow, but didn't call her out on her bluff. "I'll go tell Rigsby and Jane that you're getting ready to go," he said instead.

"Thanks," Lisbon said, shutting off her laptop and tossing her pen in the Starbucks cup on the corner of her desk.

**.**

The party was over and she was drunk. And since Cho had volunteered to take a slightly inebriated Rigsby home, she was stuck with Jane as her designated driver. Everything in her protested it, but she couldn't find the words to tell him no, or to ask him to call her a taxi, or maybe leave her alone to die. Not without throwing up all over his worn leather shoes first.

So, she let him extract the keys to her mustang from her jacket pocket and allowed him to guide her to the parking lot. She didn't say anything when he leaned over and buckled her in because she'd forgotten to, or when he pushed her hair out of her face and asked if she was going to be okay. She turned up the music, drowning him out with a rock song and rolled down the car window, closing her eyes as the cool breeze cooled her warm cheeks and kept the nausea at bay.

When they finally reached her condo and he had walked her to her door. Lisbon was ready to do crazy things.

"Stay for a minute," she whispered as he turned away. "Please."

Jane turned around and smiled at her, his green eyes sparkling in the dim porch lights. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk to you. Just for a minute," she replied, swallowing hard as a rush of courage washed over her and all her inhabitations floated away.

He laughed easily and leaned against her doorframe, looking down at her. "I'm all ears. What is it?"

"I love you Patrick," she whispered, the words tumbling out of her mouth quickly as she met his eyes. "I think I've loved you ever since you came into my office that first day."

Jane deflated like a balloon. "Oh Teresa. . ."

She kissed him then, stopping his words before they started. His mouth was warm, his lips tentative and inviting. He tasted like Bloody Marys and celery. The smell of cigarettes and greasy bar food clung to his clothes, mixing with his citrusy cologne. And just like the last time, it felt completely and utterly right to be in his arms.

Jane stood there, knowing to return her kiss would be a completely bad idea. But he couldn't resist her, he'd only dreamed of what it would be like to taste her, to have her lips pressed against his. So he gave in and for a brief moment, he could almost pretend things were different, that he had been a braver man. For the briefest of moments, he imagined what it could have been like if he had the strength to truly love again.

Lisbon pulled away and looked at him. "Say something," she whispered.

He hesitated and then closed his eyes and rested his forehead against her's, breathing in the scent he had memorized so long ago as he prayed that she wouldn't remember his reply in the morning. "I love you too."

When he kissed her again, a salty taste was mixed in with her espresso lip balm and Guinness beer. He looked down at her and gently wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," she answered, sniffing slightly and fumbling for her house key. "I think you better go now—"

Jane sighed wearily and rubbed his temples, trying to ebb some of the tension that had settled there. "You're right. I'll see you on Monday, Teresa."

"I'm sorry," Lisbon whispered, jerking her door open. "You're getting married in two weeks. I'm sorry."

"Teresa," Jane whispered back, taking a step towards her.

"Goodbye, Jane."

He rested his forehead against the door and breathed in deeply, suddenly feeling bone-tired, his thoughts were suddenly going everywhere and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bottle them all up again.

Oh the other side, Lisbon rested against the door and slid to the floor. She buried her face in her hands and took deep breaths as she tried to believe that she had just kissed Jane, that she had told him how she felt. But everything felt disjointed, like she was somebody else, watching the one angsty love scene unfold in a romantic comedy from the back row of a crowded movie theater.

And still everything felt too real. Her lips were still tingling from the kiss she and Jane had shared; her head was already pounding from the amount of beers that she had consumed, and she could still feel the warmth from Jane's hands on her cheeks, his arms around her waist.

Her mask had been smashed into a million little pieces, the pretense was over. Now he knew _exactly_ what she was thinking and how she felt.

And she didn't know what to do anymore.

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**If you're at all interested, I'm posting the original version of this chapter separately right after this. I'd love to see your reaction to **_**that **_**scenario. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this version. I promise that the next chapter will be way better. Stay tuned! And Happy April to all of my beautiful reviewers!**

**Love,**

**Holly. 4/1/2013_**


	7. You And I Are Meant To Be

**Author's Note:**

**I am beginning to sound repetitive, but it has to be said. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! It means SO much to me! Anyways, this chapter almost didn't get posted today. Our internet was down for most of the afternoon, and I was worried that it wouldn't be up by tonight. Luckily, that wasn't the case. I came home from Target and the internet was back up. The chapter title is from "Take My Heart" by Soko.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Same as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. . . I, sadly, have nothing.**

**.**

**You and I are meant to be, I****'****m the one for you, you****'****re the one for me**

_A few days later_

Their kiss was driving him to distraction. It had taken over him, infiltrated every part of his mind. He could have sworn that his lips were still tingling from Lisbon's touch. And suddenly, he didn't know how he could go through with a marriage based on friendship when there was somebody out there who set his senses reeling.

But at the same time, he still didn't want to break things off with Erin. She had told him once that he was her last chance. She'd given up on the possibility of ever finding love and had wanted to settle for something comfortable.

At the time it had seemed like a good idea, but now that he was really looking his feelings for Lisbon in the face, he was questioning _everything_ he had decided months earlier.

He wanted to go back in time and cancel all the decisions he had made since Red John's death. He wanted to change his mind and tell Lisbon that _she_ was the one that he had always seen himself rebuilding his life with when he was finally free of the serial killer.

But life wasn't a DVD player or an Etcha-Sketch. He couldn't press the rewind button, or shake a plastic red box and get rid of the mess he'd made. The only thing he really could do was learn from his mistakes, move on, and try to make things better for everyone.

He just wasn't sure how to do it exactly. Not without hurting one person in the process.

**.**

"I thought I'd find you here."

Jane opened one eye and saw Erin walking across the empty bullpen, her high heels clicking on the hardwood floor. "What are you doing here so early," he asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just think that we need to talk," Erin said as she tossed her coat on Rigsby's desk.

Jane nodded slowly. "Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing for a couple days now."

"I wanna go first," she told him as she perched on the arm on the end of his couch.

"Go on," he agreed, sitting up and stretching.

"I don't think the two of us getting married would be a good idea," Erin said quickly as she averted his gaze. "I know I thought it was at first, but that was before I knew."

Jane frowned. "Knew? Knew _what_?"

"That there is such a thing as true love. That there's somebody for everybody out there for everyone. Up until I saw you and Teresa together, I had stopped believing it."

"What?" Jane asked, trying hard to temper his ebbing surprise.

"You and Teresa are the perfect picture of all the love you see in those Hallmark movies. The guy loses the woman that he adores and he never thinks that he'll fall in love again. Then one day it happens, he meets somebody new and without either of them realizing what happens, she's opened his heart to love again—"

"I'm sure that isn't true—"

"Have you ever even seen a Hallmark movie, Patrick?"

"Well, no—"

"Then _don't _tell me that I'm wrong," Erin interjected. "Okay? And don't you _dare_ deny that you're in love with her either. I can tell by the way you look at her, and the way you touch her sometimes. I can tell by the way you talk about her, and the tone your voice takes when you talk _to _her. What I don't know is why you chose _me_ instead of her."

Jane shook his head. "Erin—"

"Tell me that you love her," Erin demanded. "Please."

He ducked his head, slightly embarrassed. "Why? Why do you want to hear it?"

"Because, I want you to confirm my newfound belief that true love really still does exist. I want you to believe it, I want you to give me a good enough reason to take off this engagement ring and let you go and be ridiculously happy with a woman who loves you as much as you love her."

Jane met her eyes, her beautiful eyes filled to the brim with hope, and smiled slightly. "I do love her. I'm sorry."

"I told you that I don't mind," Erin whispered as she slipped the dazzling diamond solitaire off her finger and pressed it into Jane's hand. "I _want _you to love her. Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

Jane hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say exactly since she had said almost everything he was thinking already. He cleared his throat and shrugged. "Just that you deserve to be happy and that one day I hope you find true love. That you don't have to settle."

Erin smiled. "Thank you."

"And I hope we can still be friends?" Jane asked.

"Of course we can still be friends! We're good as friends." She stood up and touched his shoulder lightly. "I better get going now. Speak. . . _soon_."

"Erin, wait!" Jane called.

She turned around and looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Thank you," Jane said. "For everything."

Erin's smile grew, somehow knowing exactly what he meant. "You're very welcome."

And just like that Jane was free. He looked down at the engagement ring for a moment and then tucked it away in his vest pocket. He almost didn't know what to do with himself, a part of him wanted to barrel straight into Lisbon's arms. Another part of him wasn't so sure if it was such a good idea to go straight to another woman after things had just ended between him and his fiancée.

But Erin had literally given him her blessing by telling him to speak _soon_.

He grabbed his suit coat and walked towards the elevator, his steps determined. It was time to finally man up and face his fears.

**.**

"Lisbon, I know you're in there! Would you please stop avoiding me?"

"Just leave me alone Jane!" She replied. "I have a few things that I need to do before I have to go into work."

"But I _need_ to talk to you!" He insisted. "It's really important!"

"We really don't have anything to talk about!" Lisbon retorted, wrenching the door open and peering out at him.

"So, you just want to ignore what happened between us the other night then?"

"Yes," Lisbon answered, wrapping her arms around her waist and looking at him, her jaw set. "You're getting married soon. It shouldn't have happened."

"Well, I want to talk about it. It affected me just as much as it affected you," Jane said. "For the past few days it's all I've been able to think about. I can barely eat or sleep. It's had me questioning every choice that I've made post-Red John. And I realized that I was wrong, wrong to think I could spend the rest of my life in a loveless marriage—"

"Loveless?" Lisbon asked, frowning slightly. "What do you mean 'loveless'?"

"I told you when I got engaged to Erin that it wasn't about love this time."

"Then what was it about?"

"Companionship," Jane replied. "I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone, but I didn't want to complicate things with love and passion either. You don't know losing you would make me feel. I just couldn't deal with it if I did."

Lisbon pressed her lips into a thin line. "It didn't cross your mind that you'd lose me when you married another girl? Because things _would_ have to change between us. There wouldn't be anymore late night Chinese or midnight movies. You would still belong to her, those moment would be her's. And whether we're together or not, I'm still going to die one day. Everybody does it. Besides, you're not the _only_ one who'd lose somebody Jane! If we had gotten together, you could go before me. Then I'd be alone, but it wouldn't have made me any less willing to enter something with you. Because _I love you_. And honestly I'd rather love you and lose you then never get the chance to love you at all—"

"I want that too," Jane confessed.

"Yeah? Well, what about Erin?"

"Erin broke things off with me this morning," he answered, digging the ring out of his pocket and showing it to her as proof. "She wants us to be together."

"So, you think now that you're a free agent, I'm just going to jump into a relationship with you?"

"Well, I was hoping—"

"Well, you're wrong!" Lisbon said. "If you're really serious about being with me, you're going to have to woo me first. I want you to prove that you love me and that I'm not just your second choice. I want to know that you chose me first and that your fears are completely gone now. I want to know that the first time something bad happens; you're not going to run away and settle for the first comfortable option that comes along. I want _both_ of us to be in this together completely."

Jane brushed a strand of hair away from her face and lowered his voice. "How long am I going to need to _woo_ you?"

"We'll just have to see now, won't we?" She replied a whisper of a smile ghosted across her lips.

He smirked, because they both knew it wouldn't take as long as she was making it seem. Not when being together was something they'd both wanted for a very long time.

Not when they'd already belonged to each other for years.

**TBC. . .**

**.**

**Author's Note II:**

**We're in the home-stretch here. One more chapter and we'll be done, but not really. I have a couple of one-shots planned for this story. Like when Lisbon tells Minelli and May, and Jane wooing Lisbon. I bet you don't want to miss out on Jane wooing Lisbon, do you? Plus, I think I have a series of art planned for this story (to the songs I used in the chapters for this story.) Anyways, now that I told you all that, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts about this story! Just type anything you want in the box below! **

**Love,**

**Holly, 4/2/2013_**


	8. You Are My Life, My Love, My Only

**Author's Note:**

**First of all let me apologize for the delay in posting. Yesterday afternoon was a crazy day and then I got distracted by "Guys and Dolls" on TCM. Then, American Idol was on and the next thing I knew it was too late to post anything. I almost didn't make it today, and I haven't done **_**anything**_** at all except watch some TV. Anyways, enough excuses! I'm glad everybody loved chapter 7 so much. I hope this one doesn't disappoint you. The chapter title was taken from "Never Stop" by SafetySuit, and it was actually the song Jane/Lisbon danced to in chapter 5.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Like usual, I own nothing. Except the typos in this story, of course. And two new dresses my mom said I needed more than another journal. **

**.**

**You are my life, my love, my only and that's the one thing that won't change**

_One Year Later_

"Patrick!"

"Erin?" Jane asked, turning around to find his ex-fiancée standing behind him in the long line at Marie's.

She flashed her dazzling smile at him. "It's been a while since we've seen each other. How have you been? How's Teresa?"

"Good," he replied. "We're both good."

"That's good. And you are together; I saw your engagement announcement in the newspaper last month."

"Yes," Jane answered. "We're engaged."

"I'm happy for you," Erin said. "When are you two planning on getting married?"

"In the next couple of months, we want a small wedding, close friends and family only. What about you? Did you ever find somebody or are you still looking for love?"

"I did find somebody. If it is love, I don't know yet. We only started dating a few months ago, but I'm taking a chance on him. . . I'm taking a chance on us. Love is a risk, isn't it?"

"Love is definitely a risk," Jane agreed as he stepped up to the counter and placed his order.

"So, what happened after you told her how you felt?" Erin asked.

"She made me work for it," Jane answered. "I had to woo her for a couple of weeks before she actually fully took me in."

Erin laughed. "Good for her! It serves you right after stringing her along for all those years and then asking her to be your _best man_!" she stopped considering something for a moment. "She's actually way more gracious than I am. If I were in her shoes, I probably wouldn't have taken you back at all."

Jane smiled good-naturedly. "She _always_ takes me back, no matter what. I usually don't have to do so much work to make her come around."

"Oh poor baby! Having to work to get something you really want," she said teasingly, shaking her head. "It was worth it though. Right?"

He nodded. "Of course it was. Oh, my order's ready! I have to get Lisbon's coffee to her. She hasn't had her morning dose of caffeine yet."

Erin nodded and gave him a quick, side-hug. "Of course! It was nice chatting with you again, Patrick. Don't be a stranger, okay?"

"Okay," Jane agreed, smiling at her. "Maybe we can double sometime. I'd love to meet this new man in your life."

"Sounds like a plan. Give me a call with the details sometime. My number hasn't changed," Erin answered. "And tell Teresa _hello_ for me."

Jane nodded. "I will."

"Thanks."

"And good luck to you," Jane said. "I hope this time that everything works out for you."

**.**

"You'll never believe who I ran into," Jane told Lisbon as he placed her coffee on the desk and pecked her cheek.

"Okay," Lisbon replied, taking the lid off her cup and took a deep breath of the fragrant brew. "So, who did you run into?"

"Erin Booth," Jane answered.

Lisbon looked up from her coffee, slightly surprised. "Erin? Wow! How is she?"

He leaned against her desk. "She seemed fine. She's seeing somebody now, it's nothing serious but she's giving it a chance."

Lisbon nodded. "That's good. I hope it works out, she deserves to be happy. . . deserves love."

"She does," Jane agreed, taking a sip of his coffee.

"You're not sorry?" She double-checked.

It was Jane's turn to look surprised. "Why would I be sorry?"

"That things didn't work out between you two," Lisbon answered.

Jane shook his head. "No, I'm not sorry things didn't work out with us. Staying with her would have been a mistake, and it wouldn't have been fair. Not to any of us. I don't think I could have ever learned to love her, not when you had already taken up residence in every single part of my body. I would have been lost without you in my life. The only thing that I was ever sorry about was letting my fears get the better of me. The only thing I ever regretted was not telling you how I felt as soon as Red John was out of the picture."

"I believe you," Lisbon whispered.

Jane leaned over and brushed a strand of hair away from her face before outlining her bottom lip with his thumb. "I hope so."

"The team is in the bullpen," she reminded him breathlessly, her eyes half-closed as she waited for something to happen.

"I know," Jane said, pulling away. "I'm not going to do anything, just in case Rigsby decides to walk in again."

Lisbon opened her eyes. "He always does come in at the most inopportune times, doesn't he?"

"Always," Jane agreed, thinking back on all the times the younger man had interrupted them over the past ten years. "Except now, we can pick up right where we left off when we're alone."

She laughed and pushed her chair away from the desk to put some much needed space between them. "So, Erin. . ."

"She was fine," he assured her. "I told you that she was the one who wanted us together. Remember? And she was happy that you made me work for a spot in your heart. Seems to think I deserved it."

Lisbon smirked. "Oh you did. You don't know how long I had been waiting for you. You don't know how I felt when I thought that I had lost you forever. You don't know any of the dreams I had about you and me—"

"I think I did," Jane interjected. "In my happier dreams, I could see us together in a Red John free world. I could see our house, complete with sheer curtains and a white picket fence and a dog. Sometimes I dreamed about our kids, each one the perfect picture of you. I built a world with you in my imagination, and now I'm ready to do it in real life. Teresa Lisbon, I am so in love with you, it isn't funny. It never was. Don't ever doubt it again, please."

Before she had a chance to answer him, Jane was in front of her and pulling her up from her chair. His lips were on his before she had a chance to protest, and for a moment they both forgot where they were and that they had made rules about public displays of affection.

For a moment, they were completely lost in each other, not caring who would find them. Everybody already knew about them anyways.

After a few seconds, he pulled away and smiled at her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she answered, her voice thick with emotion as she managed to smile at him, her knees trembled as she stumbled to sit down in her chair again. She swiveled in the chair slightly and tried to look at him sternly. "But you can't kiss me like that in public again."

Jane laughed huskily. "I'm sorry darling, but I'm not going to make promises that I can't keep."

Lisbon sighed in fake defeat. Knowing that arguing with him would be pointless because he would just wind up winning in the end.

He always did.

She didn't really mind though.

Not when it meant that she got to be more than his best man.

**_End_**

**Author's Note II:**

**Yes, we're at the end of the other story. But don't despair, I have the two one-shots planned and I'm working on a new multi-chapter as you review this chapter. No disclosure though, I might jinx it if I go into details. But the next story I'll probably post is one for my "That How It Should Be" series. Anyways, tell me what you thought about this. I really want to know, because I've had a weird feeling about the ending for a week now. It didn't go how I wanted it to. . .**

**Until Next Time! My love and thanks to you all!**

**Holly, 4/4/2013_**


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